July 2011 – Married To Mania

Family Support for a Depressed Bipolar Spouse

There are some diseases that extend their reach beyond the person affected and corrode the very family structure that helps the individual weather all storms. One such disease is bipolar disorder. With its rapid cycles of depression and mania, it can change the lives of those who live with the afflicted person.

One reason could be that bipolar disorder is sometimes not diagnosed in time, or even if it is, some people may shy away from accepting it and seeking help. The reasons for this could be social stigma as well. Nevertheless, one of the other reasons that could affect the whole family of the bipolar individual is the inadequate social support that the family receives.

Children of depressed bipolar sufferers tend to be ignored, and this could very well alter the fabric of their life. Even when the well spouse takes charge of the family, it can be frightening and can cause a lot of anxiety for the family.

What is needed is a holistic approach to treating bipolar depression, not just in the afflicted individual, but the entire family as a whole. Today, there are many support groups for families of people who suffer from bipolar depression. The internet is also a wonderful resource for those who need help regarding depressive bipolar disorder.

There are plenty of support websites where you can seek help not just for the afflicted person, but for the family as well. However, not many reach out and use these services. This is because of the lack of awareness regarding the help that is available to people.

If someone in your family has been diagnosed with bipolar depression, you will have to make it your prerogative to help that person. You cannot stay disconnected from this problem while someone you love or care for is undergoing mental trauma. While supporting the said person, however, you need to remember that you need support and help too.

Fear of social stigma for the person suffering from depressive bipolar disorder and his/her family can naturally affect the treatment process. The family of the person suffering from bipolar depression has to offer unhindered support, but in the face of all obstacles, this can be very difficult.

Immediate family, neighbors, and friends can create their own support system to help a family cope with a bipolar person. However, for this to happen, people need to be well informed about bipolar disorder and believe that a mental illness does not equate to a life of hopelessness.

Alcohol and Bipolar Disorder: What Are They Thinking?

Bipolar disorder affect the entire family, not just the afflicted person. Psychology Today magazine has estimates that the divorce rate among couples where at least one partner is bipolar is more than 90%.

Self-medication is a worrying aspects of bipolar disorder, and many diagnosed with bipolar disorder turn to alcohol. Both men and women with bipolar disorder are more likely to become alcoholics as compared to those without this condition.

Bipolar alcohol abuse often occurs because it can be one way to eliminate the symptoms of bipolar disorder, such as anxiety, depression and fear. However, this often backfires because as dependency on alcohol increases, the patient ends up with a dual diagnosis with debilitating symptoms.

Furthermore, alcoholism worsens bipolar symptoms, and it becomes more difficult to treat this condition because not only does alcohol complicate the symptoms, but it also makes it difficult to use certain medications that cannot be used with liquor.

According to a study by Oxford University and the Karolinska Institutet in Sweden and mentioned in www.bphope.com, “21% of patients with bipolar disorder and a diagnosis of severe substance abuse (alcohol or illegal drugs) were convicted of violent crimes, compared to 5% of those with bipolar disorder but without substance abuse, 5% among the unaffected siblings of bipolar patients, and 3% among general public control individuals.”

The question that arises for the partner of the bipolar alcoholic is whether it is worthwhile to save a marriage beset with this challenging combination of medical conditions. Certainly not every bipolar alcoholic spouse is violent, so this is not necessarily a question of spousal abuse.

But the 800-pound gorilla in the room is how long should well spouses endure the troubles in their marriages? Some spouses draw strength from their religion or marriage vows and see treatment for their sick spouse as “part of the package” they signed on for. Everyone knows bipolar alcoholics cannot control their bouts of mania and depression alone and frequently suck all the support and love they can get from their relationships—often without gratitude.

Well partners may often feel they are contributing the overwhelming amount of effort in their relationship–emotionally, physically and responsibly. The fact is that the bipolar alcoholic cannot control the negative symptoms and requires constant stimulation, love, support and reassurance to address both bipolar disorder and alcoholism.

A bipolar marriage is chock full of challenges most marriages don’t have. To have a success, both partners must acknowledge these challenges and work toward a compromise. The well partner cannot be the sole responsible partner for the success of the marriage. And the sick partner cannot “check out” of his marriage to through alcohol or participation in other risky behaviors. The patient may not be curable, but a successful marriage depends on the bipolar alcoholic making an effort.